The Ice Cream Wars, Part 3

My son just got ice cream.  I know this because:

  1. It’s just after lunch time.
  2. There is a fresh, empty ice cream carton in the trash.

Since I’ve become an ice cream sleuth out of sheer amusement over the Ice Cream Wars, I note the flavor:  Cookies & Cream.  Yet Son’s glass contains this:

Here’s how the conversation rolls…

Me: Um…(with a nod at his glass)

Son:  (innocently/feigning confusion) What?

Me: Why is there an empty Cookies & Cream carton in the trash, but there’s no Cookies & Cream in your glass?

Son: Well…

Tick…tock…tick…tock…

Son: Well, there WAS…

Me: Aha!  So you ate the Cookies & Cream at the speed of light, and now you have a full glass of Intense Chocolate, too?

Son: Yes.  But in my defense, Dad tried to eat some of MY Cookies and Cream.

Me: He tried?  He didn’t succeed?

Son: Oh, he succeeded.

Me: How do you know?  Wait, I’m confused…

I ponder a moment (point right, point left) mentally back up a few steps, and the light bulb clicks on.

Me: OH!  So the Cookies & Cream is YOURS, and the Intense Chocolate is Dad’s, right?

Son: Right.

Me: And since all’s fair in love and ice cream, if Dad can eat YOUR ice cream, then you can eat double ice cream by eating yours AND his, right?

Son: Right.

Me: But you said Dad tried to eat some of *your* ice cream.  He didn’t succeed?

Son: Oh, he succeeded, all right.

Me: How do you know?

Son: I saw specks of Oreos in his bowl, and I never use a bowl to eat my ice cream.

Me: OH!  I see.  That makes perfect sense.

And the plot ever thickens.  Stay tuned…

Note 1: In case you missed the first installment of the Ice Cream Wars, it should be explained that Son does not care for most flavors that Husband buys, which is precisely why Husband buys them.  This is one of Husband’s defensive tactics in this war.  Apparently, it is one of Son’s offensive tactics to eat them anyway.

Note 2: A point of irony is that Son has a milk allergy and is supposed to keep ice cream eating within reasonable limits.

Note 3: Being a most excellent sleuth, I do not make up the facts, I merely record them.  I jot down notes either immediately after the conversations and events in question, or I unabashedly take notes while things are happening.  This is not fiction.

Note 4: Second installment of the Ice Cream Wars here.


A cheerful heart is good medicine…

Proverbs 17:22 a, NIV

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