Lessons From the Pit

Some things can only be learned from a low place, at least for me.

It’s hard to share, because:

  • pride
  • snippets come that I connect later
  • I understand before I can articulate

But this time, there was one, full-circle thing: silence.

That day-in-the-pit, I couldn’t bear any sound. All I could do, even at the park for exercise, was to walk, and nothing more.

I did not open the game I play. I did not listen to music. And what I experienced was revealing.

To my surprise, a world opened up in true, living color, bathed in sound and life. And I’d been missing it. I didn’t even notice it was gone.

You see, I’d had my head down, in the mesmerizing (but make-believe) world of Pokemon Go for so long, I didn’t even notice that I’d sort-of left the real world. I’m struggling to explain this, but even as I passed people at the park on my exercise days, my senses were surrounded with full-spectrum sound, of praise music, yes. But my earphones are so good, that they blocked out even the responses of fellow humans after I’d said, “Good morning.” They silenced the sound of birds and water flowing and cars passing and conversation and life.

This lesson should have been obvious to me, but to my shock, it was not.

And if my mission field is really between my own two feet at any given moment, as Jill Briscoe said at IF Gathering this year–if it’s really in the orbit of my everyday life, then I’m missing a lot. In fact, I might be missing everything.

I don’t even know when this happened. And as I famously lament my lack of time and my struggle to complete assignments that I believe are God-given, I wonder how it happened.

I don’t know…

But the lesson was that it did.


Posted in Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Thing in a Nutshell 🌰

I don’t have to worry about a troublesome situation in my life because of who God is.

But I worry about it because of who I am.

So today, I’m going back over some of the reasons why I don’t have to worry. Thank You, Holy Spirit.




A Song of God’s Majesty and Love

A Praise of David.


1 I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable.

Psalm 145: 1-3, NKJV

Posted in A Thankful Heart, Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real, The Year of Order (2017) | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

A Handful of Corn Chips

I am a fragile human, and I hate that. I hate it even as I say it, but it’s true.

Recently, I found myself in a deep, low place–physically, mentally, spiritually. If I don’t pay attention to routines I follow, I get there before I know I’m in trouble.

This won’t make sense, but I always thank God later for knocking me down. I don’t even know if He did it, but I thank Him anyway, because I usually learn some truth I desperately need from the low place. To quote C.S. Lewis:

“If our religion is something objective, then we must never avert our eyes from those elements in it which seem puzzling or repellent; for it will be precisely the puzzling or the repellent which conceals what we do not yet know and need to know.”

From my dark hole, I was crying out to God, because I’d tried all sorts of things to no avail. And one of the symptoms of those lows is a brain fog from which I cannot see much of anything.

“God,” I said. “You created this body and everything connected to it. You know what’s wrong. Spirit, please tell me what to do.”

And unmistakably, through the mist came this odd thought, as clear as a bell ringing on a moonless night:

“Go eat some corn chips.”

(I am not joking.)

“WHAT?” I snapped, shaking my head, and squinting upward.

“Go eat some corn chips.” (It came again.)

After a momentary ponder, I did just that. Somehow, I got down the stairs and dropped onto the bottom stair in the mudroom, which is near my pantry shelves. I had a bag of corn chips in my lap, and I munched until I was full.

And then, I trudged back upstairs to get ready for bed. By the time I’d taken my bath, to my utter surprise, I felt better. And by morning, to my complete amazement, I was back to normal, just in time for an important appointment I would have had to miss in my former state.

You see, what I forget in my hurry is my very real problem with low blood sugar. This issue has plagued me since I gave up sugar (for the most part) in 2011, and further since I gave up gluten (for the most part) in 2013. Those are stories for another day, but suffice it to say they were accidental discoveries that help me stay healthy and functional most of the time, which is a small miracle for someone who, as a young mom with three children, had a near miss with an MS diagnosis.

If I don’t eat for a certain period of time, and if I tax my body while hungry, both of which I’d done for three days, like heat exhaustion, the low blood sugar issue creeps up on me before I know what hit me. And then, the lack of energy, despair and brain fog all contribute to confusion in which I forget what to do. Fortunately, these incidents are rare.

The sure solution is to eat some good, old-fashioned carbs, which is usually a lot of fun, I might add.

To me, the moral of this story is that God cared enough about such a small detail. He cared about a handful of corn chips.

I certainly don’t deserve that kind of love.

And to quote Jill Briscoe, “Such grace.”


NOTE: If you’re wondering where my husby was in my hour of need, he was away on a three-day business trip to Arkansas. 😁

Posted in Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Nearness of You

(God) is my only good.

I’ve been taking comfort from that phrase lately via this song:



After telling some friends about the song, one of them pointed out this scripture to me:

28 But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Psalm 73:28, NASB

Thank you, friend.



Posted in Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Hard Things

Today, I’m thankful for hard things. From my knocked-down position, I’m learning some things I needed to know. And I’m seeing things I need to see.

Face down, where mercy finds me first…

And sometimes, I need to be able to become broken bread and poured out wine to be exactly where God wants me.

Looking down.



Looking down today, I saw an artful sculpture created by a child on a playground. And it made me smile.


Posted in Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real, The Year of Order (2017) | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When I Lost My Heart to You

I became completely God’s in one moment in time…in one heartbeat, when I uttered the following sentence:

“Something has to change, and it might just have to be me, because I’m miserable.”

I didn’t know then that the first step is “agree that you’re willing to change,” but I know that now.

Changing isn’t easy, and I often (often) fail. But at least now I’ve got my heart in the right box.


Posted in Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good After the No Good

Once upon a time, a kid named Alexander had a bad day. I had one of those yesterday, but I’m praying for all involved, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Today, I was back with my church family, and it was so, so good.


We sang a song that says, in part, “There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning…”

It also says that when the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid, because I know that He loves me. And that when the wind is strong and the waters deep, I’m not alone here in the open seas. It’s an older Jesus Culture song:


I’m continually undone at how the God of the universe picks me up after something hard and restores His joy to me. Sometimes, it’s just Him loving me. Oh, how can that be? I can’t even accept it without breaking down.

And I’m thankful to the point of being overwhelmed.

He’s a good, good Father.

Posted in A Thankful Heart, Facing the Monsters, Just Being Real | Tagged , , | 2 Comments