Here is a story.
Recently, I was asked to do something, and I should have said no. I should have said no because the errand I was asked to do fell precisely during the hours of my long-awaited and difficult to obtain appointment at the Apple Store Genius Bar to fix my phone, and we all know how important those are, correct?
But I said yes, and no worries, because I could just reschedule my appointment.
Two hours later, and after venting frustration to the point of
yelling no, screeching at an automated voice and leaving a scathing review on the Apple website, my appointment stood, resolute. And I was furious.
Now, this fury deserved some examination, because it was not as simple and justified as it may seem on the surface. This fury was actually sin, but that’s another blog. Just trust me on this one. I live in here. I should know.
I suffered in it all day.
And I whined to God, and to my husband, who looked at me helplessly, poor thing. I attempted to whine between the lines to my brothers in some texts, but they are smarter than that, they don’t have to listen, and it wasn’t their fault, anyway.
This morning, I was dressed and ready to go by 7:30 a.m. And the first thing on my agenda was to get on the phone to Apple Care during the car ride, and give them a piece of my mind, and get that appointment rescheduled. I’d worked hard to get it, and I’d waited over a week for it, and Apple should do a better job, and….I’ll spare you the rest.
At 7:35, I got a text saying the errand was off.
I realized was free to go to my appointment after all. And I was dressed and ready two and a half hours early.
Good thing the appointment didn’t get rescheduled.
Realization washed over me in that moment, and it wasn’t pretty.
Here is the truth: I should have said yes to that errand, because it helped someone I adore, and it was the right thing to do. And I should have changed my attitude.
Thank God, I’m a Christian, so I know he provided a way.
Oh, I made a stab yesterday at submitting my will to God’s Spirit for help, but I really didn’t want to, so I continued my tirade all day long, and almost into the night. But mercifully, God allowed a brat to sleep.
All that sanctimonious anger for nothing. And I had to splash my true colors all over apple.com, vomit them to that poor, automated voice (just doing its job), spew them to my husband, sugar coat them in sweet texts to my brothers, and look: now I’m called to admit them here, in front of God and everyone.
I deserve every bit of it and more. To think I could have walked in peace and joy yesterday.
As a Christian, it is my responsibility to mow my own back yard and let God fix my junk, and I have shamelessly neglected that duty in my lifetime. There is no excuse.
Yes, my junk is understandable, and no, as a human I don’t have real power against my selfish passions (believe me, I’ve tried) but the good news is that God sent his Son to pay the price I couldn’t pay, and to fix the problem, and to make a way for me. It’s mine for the asking, and for the taking.
I just need to start living like I actually believe that. I’m the one who says I believe the Bible.
Whew. That’s my story for today.
Now, I’m off to my appointment, celebratory coffee in hand, to enjoy a trip to a beautiful shopping mall. I’ve owned this issue with God, and he forgave me. #joyrestored
And you know what? God had this all along. I just needed to trust him.
29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.